Jenny spends all day taking care of the children. Dave works hard on his job. At the end of the day both are tired and each would like some pampering, but they both feel their needs are not being met.. Their frustration has grown to the point they feel their relationship can't be saved.
Each partner in the relationship must decide if it is worth saving. With hard work most relationships can be saved, but the work must be done by both partners. If one partner decides they don't want to try, not much can be done to avoid a split.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient. Or they remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
Perhaps an affair has caused great pain in your relationship. This is a symptom. Normally an affair indicates a lack of intimacy. If this is not repaired, problems will persist. The cheating partner might feel guilty and stop the affair, but other problems will pop up (like pornography) unless the core problem, lack of intimacy, is fixed. Deal with core issues rather than symptoms, and you can save the relationship.
Talk about the core problems together. Hold hands while you talk. Don't make accusations or try to place blame. If both partners realize the purpose of your talks is to strengthen the relationship, there is no need for hurt feelings.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you dont spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Saving a relationship is a process. At times you may feel frustrated, but if you work at it, every time you take a backwards step you will notice you first took two steps forward. It will take patience. Be quick to apologize but slow to blame. You will cry along the way, but you should laugh along the journey, too. This is your relationship! Save it! - 16463
Each partner in the relationship must decide if it is worth saving. With hard work most relationships can be saved, but the work must be done by both partners. If one partner decides they don't want to try, not much can be done to avoid a split.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient. Or they remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
Perhaps an affair has caused great pain in your relationship. This is a symptom. Normally an affair indicates a lack of intimacy. If this is not repaired, problems will persist. The cheating partner might feel guilty and stop the affair, but other problems will pop up (like pornography) unless the core problem, lack of intimacy, is fixed. Deal with core issues rather than symptoms, and you can save the relationship.
Talk about the core problems together. Hold hands while you talk. Don't make accusations or try to place blame. If both partners realize the purpose of your talks is to strengthen the relationship, there is no need for hurt feelings.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you dont spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Saving a relationship is a process. At times you may feel frustrated, but if you work at it, every time you take a backwards step you will notice you first took two steps forward. It will take patience. Be quick to apologize but slow to blame. You will cry along the way, but you should laugh along the journey, too. This is your relationship! Save it! - 16463
About the Author:
A. MacGynn contributes to About the Family, a website dedicated to family living. Most broken relationships can be repaired if the subconscious motivators that get unite couples are understood. Sadly, most individuals taking steps to repair the relationship instinctively do exactly the wrong thing. Avoid these wrong steps and you can Repair the Relationship
