Extramarital affair is something that anyone can fall into without even realising a thing. Before we begin, I assume no one would choose to be involved in an affair by intention - unless if the person has no morals or conscience.
There are always patterns and signs - the same one over and over again to supposedly show warning signs you're about to be involved. However, these signs are sometimes too easy to be overlooked and therefore many people don't even believe it's there until they're stuck in the emotional rut.
And when you finally realise, getting out will not be an easy task as it involves breaking someone's heart - including yours. So how can you be made aware of the extramarital affair danger? Read on to see the warning signs.
Most affairs begin when a person starts having some kind of connection with someone else other than their spouse. This can start anywhere: in the office, the regular social group, basically anywhere a person can create a friendship with someone else - whether or not attraction exists at this stage. This is not yet dangerous in any way - conscience and logic are still in place.
The friendship formed will then become closer - the very beginning of emotional affair is here. More stories are being swapped between you and your friend - including the more intimate stories about your current relationship with your spouse.
Now before we go on any further, realise that this close friend is just that, a close friend. he/she is not your spouse. You can bet that you haven't seen most of his/her bad habits and behaviour. Your knowledge about this person is still mainly based on what he/she told you - words rather than action.
"This is what I would do...", "In my opinion a guy should...", "I would personally disagree with your spouse..." etc.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
Finally, things become very dangerous when deeper emotional sharing occurs. This leads to emotional affair - a feeling of closeness and understood. You start fantasizing about your friend - not necessarily in a sexual way, but rather idealising him/her in your head - 'what if I have a husband/wife like that...'.
At this time very little conscience and logic are being held in place as fantasies start entering your mind. You start idolising this person as a 'soulmate' - who you might have met late in the game. This thought, together with the emotional rush an affair can offer will soon have you in the official extramarital affair zone.
Before long you may find yourself in a situation - or you create the situation that makes it so easy for somebody to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may even end up in bed with this person - and worse of all, it is not just a one-night-stand as high emotional intimacy is involved.
It's impossible to get out!
Yes now you know extramarital affairs does NOT just naturally happen. It carries many warning signs - but it's up to you to choose to mask those signs with the 'ah he/she is just a friend' statement. There is no such a thing as having no control of the situation from the start. Knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the rut.
One thing to remember, everyone is vulnerable when it comes to emotion and many people overestimate themselves. Accept that you are just as vulnerable to this and don't start saying that 'it will never happen me and my friend' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Pay attention, and be aware of boundaries. - 16463
There are always patterns and signs - the same one over and over again to supposedly show warning signs you're about to be involved. However, these signs are sometimes too easy to be overlooked and therefore many people don't even believe it's there until they're stuck in the emotional rut.
And when you finally realise, getting out will not be an easy task as it involves breaking someone's heart - including yours. So how can you be made aware of the extramarital affair danger? Read on to see the warning signs.
Most affairs begin when a person starts having some kind of connection with someone else other than their spouse. This can start anywhere: in the office, the regular social group, basically anywhere a person can create a friendship with someone else - whether or not attraction exists at this stage. This is not yet dangerous in any way - conscience and logic are still in place.
The friendship formed will then become closer - the very beginning of emotional affair is here. More stories are being swapped between you and your friend - including the more intimate stories about your current relationship with your spouse.
Now before we go on any further, realise that this close friend is just that, a close friend. he/she is not your spouse. You can bet that you haven't seen most of his/her bad habits and behaviour. Your knowledge about this person is still mainly based on what he/she told you - words rather than action.
"This is what I would do...", "In my opinion a guy should...", "I would personally disagree with your spouse..." etc.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
Finally, things become very dangerous when deeper emotional sharing occurs. This leads to emotional affair - a feeling of closeness and understood. You start fantasizing about your friend - not necessarily in a sexual way, but rather idealising him/her in your head - 'what if I have a husband/wife like that...'.
At this time very little conscience and logic are being held in place as fantasies start entering your mind. You start idolising this person as a 'soulmate' - who you might have met late in the game. This thought, together with the emotional rush an affair can offer will soon have you in the official extramarital affair zone.
Before long you may find yourself in a situation - or you create the situation that makes it so easy for somebody to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may even end up in bed with this person - and worse of all, it is not just a one-night-stand as high emotional intimacy is involved.
It's impossible to get out!
Yes now you know extramarital affairs does NOT just naturally happen. It carries many warning signs - but it's up to you to choose to mask those signs with the 'ah he/she is just a friend' statement. There is no such a thing as having no control of the situation from the start. Knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the rut.
One thing to remember, everyone is vulnerable when it comes to emotion and many people overestimate themselves. Accept that you are just as vulnerable to this and don't start saying that 'it will never happen me and my friend' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Pay attention, and be aware of boundaries. - 16463
About the Author:
Sally Webb is the Founder of Cheating-Spouse-Alert.com. Have a look at her site for more advice about of infidelity and affairs from signs of cheating spouse to ways of finding out. Also, check out the article: Extramarital Affair: should I confess to my spouse.
